It's Halloween, which means it's time for horror films. But what about people who really (and I mean really) love cars? Why isn't anybody remaking classic horror films with more of a driver-y theme?
Here's five ideas they can start with. You're welcome, Hollywood.
Friday the i3
Instead of drowning, Jason Voorhees dies after coming into contact with waste a nearby oil refinery had been dumping in Camp Crystal Lake. Blaming his death on the carbon economy, Jason returns in an environmentally friendly city car, killing anybody he feels is responsible for damaging the planet for future generations.
The overarching message is basically the same as in Birdemic, as is the quality of the acting, writing and visual effects.
A retelling of Paranormal Activity inspired by the life cycle of a BMW in South Korea. Like the original, the plot hangs on unexpected surprises; for a long time it will seem like nothing's happening, until, all of a sudden, your car's on fire.
To ensure there's enough material to make what is effectively the exact same film six times, BMW repeatedly fails to figure out why all this keeps happening and how to solve it, despite several recalls.
The Last M6 on Earth
Based on classic sci-fi horror The Last Man on Earth, we follow an M6 as it explores a world infected by a vampiric plague that has wiped out the rest of its species. The M6 suspects it became immune to the disease during a road trip in Central America, when its owner accidentally filled it with diesel.
In a twist, we eventually learn that there was never any plague. The last M6 on Earth was always the only one, everybody sensible got an M4 instead.
The story of a group of "freaks" who spend their days being paraded in front of people who are shocked by their deformations. Despite their unusual appearances, we come to understand that they have feelings, too. Perhaps it's the "normal" people who are cursed after all?
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the "freaks" were all designed by Chris Bangle.
It's exactly the same film, but the eponymous blob — which starts off small before gradually becoming bigger and more aggressive as time goes on — happens to look exactly like successive generations of the now massive 3 Series.